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The Art and Politics of the Hyphen
or The Missing Link, Part II
By Darren Crovitz

In my last article, I looked at how misuse of the hyphen in writing can potentially lead to some unintentionally humorous and even embarrassing slips in meaning. The specific problem was hyphen omission: for instance, the difference between "sweet-talking man" and "sweet talking man." The first speaks in honeyed tones and phrases, while the second chats while covered in honey.
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"I wouldn't get As and Bs without them helping me."

Read more about Norman's experiences with the UWC.

Cypress Dome Society Fosters the Literary Arts at UCF
By David Smith

The University of Central Florida supports a number of organizations that promote particular aspects of the literary community at UCF. But no organization has attempted to further develop the literary community as a whole. The Cypress Dome Society is dedicated to fostering the literary arts at UCF and in the Central Florida Community.
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Eight Ways to Make Writing in College Easier
By Dr. Beth Rapp Young

No matter what your major, you'll have to write some papers while you're earning your degree. All UCF students need to complete the first-year composition sequence (ENC 1101/1101), two other "Gordon Rule" courses (which require at least 6,000 words each of evaluated writing), and the CLAST test (which includes an essay exam). At least a few additional courses in your major will undoubtedly include writing assignments. And if you plan to earn Honors in your major, you'll probably have to write a thesis.
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You're an intelligent, attractive, educated woman. You have intelligent, attractive, educated friends. So naturally when one of them offers to set you up on a date, you agree.

His name is Chad. You meet at a Thai restaurant with groaning air-conditioning and great food. He, like you, is intelligent, attractive, and educated. He dresses well. He's got biceps that can crush Brazil nuts, but that's beside the point. The two of you have a lovely conversation, and you start to think that this person may be date-worthy. After all, you've wandered through the mire of people-refuse for long enough. No more 1988 Trans-Am drivers for me, you think. No more men who think great literature resides in Sports Illustrated. Your "maybe" is leaning towards a "yes" when suddenly, inexplicably, he begins to refer to himself in the third person.

"Chad's full now," he says. "But maybe he'd like some coffee."

You stop, mid-thought, mouth gaping. I must have misheard him, you think. He couldn't have possibly said what I think he just said. But walking out to your car, he says it again.

"Chad wants to kiss you now," he says softly.

You stifle a spasm. The attraction vaporizes. "No thanks," you say. "I've got to go."

Okay, so the above is an exaggerated case, but I'm sure we've all experienced the 3rd Person Plague before. My question is, why this spoken faux pas in the first place? Where did it come from, and why does it continue?

For a brief refresher, "point of view" is the standpoint from which a story/song/poem/etc. is told. First-person point of view is "I," second-person is "you," and third-person is "he/she/it." While first person is generally the rule when speaking about oneself, occasionally we see someone slip into third. But why? Certainly we can speculate myriad reasons: Schizophrenia or crippling ego are some of the most obvious causes, but they are often not the case. An overpowering id, perhaps? A desire to generate unique speech patterns? A wish to create distance from oneself? Ahh . . . now we're getting somewhere.

We can perhaps deduce that, when someone slips into third person, the speaker is uncomfortable with some aspect of whatever situation he/she is in and wishes to create distance. This phenomena is not unlike the "hypothetical" questions one would ask when a child. "If someone wanted to ask Santa for a doll," a child might say, "then how could she ask?" Thus the child is safe: Removing herself from the equation, she can ask for what she wants without seeming selfish or demanding. She can also gauge an answer without direct involvement-if Mom says no, then the child has not lost face. The third person only becomes a problem, though, when it is continually used throughout adulthood. This is what M. Scott Peck terms an inappropriate "map of reality"-continuing a behavior that, having been appropriate for a certain span of time, has not been updated to reflect current ways of living.

Now how about point of view in writing? Well, while we can't attribute particular written point of view choices to a specific mental illness or other psychological deficiency, we can deduce that poor choices equals an inexperienced, unaware, or uncaring writer. Seasoned readers know that the vehicle, or how the story is transported to us, has everything to do with how we connect with the tenor, or subject matter. And, just as Chad assumed an inappropriate point of view for his situation, many writers are also guilty of choosing the wrong vehicle for their story. Audience awareness is everything.

So-how do we deal with this annoying third person pattern of speech? Gentle correction? Innocent questioning? Nah. My suggestion is to hit the person squarely on the elbow with a ball-peen hammer. Thus you are achieving dual results: Not only is the person momentarily pushed out of his/her self-conscious speech, but will begin a Pavlovian-like association with use of third person. See how easy it is? Katie does.

Next time: Choosing Appropriate Point of View, or, How to Teach Guys Like Chad a Lesson