Previous C-sides

Last updated: 5 May, 1996

# 1. One question: why did the Kamikazes wear helmets?
# 2. Education (n) That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. A. Bierce (Devil's Dictionary)
# 3. The future is coming, but there's medication for it.
# 4. Those who bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves. J.M.Barrie
# 5. Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
# 6. No pain . . . no pain.
# 7. Confidence (n) The ability to be mistaken at the top of one's lungs. A. Bierce (DD)
# 8. To eat is human, to digest divine.
# 9. Faith (n) The belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge of things without parallel. A. Bierce (DD)
# 10. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves and good fortune to others. A. Bierce (DD)
# 11. First Law of Technology: The man who is not in control is under control.
# 12. Second Law of Technology: The man who is not a step ahead is a step behind.
# 13. Third Law of Technology: The man who is not connected is . . . Disconnected.
# 14. I try to control myself but I keep escaping.
# 15. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
# 16. Remember this: when the game is over, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box.
# 17. It is an irresistible urge among humans to create and nurture rules for the behavior of others.
# 18. When you have a great hammer, the whole world looks like a nail.
# 19. I think I think, therefore I think I am. Bierce (DD)
# 20. There is a fine line between idiocy and genius. Let us strive to erase that line.
# 21. Elvis is dead. Give it up.
# 22. If I'm over the hill, where was the top?
# 23. There is a vast difference between having known a thing and forgotten it and never having known the thing at all.
# 24. Perfection has been attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away. A. de Saint-Exupery
# 25. Even the pessimist finds cheer in the mortality of the optimist. Bierce (DD)
# 26. Beware the advice of successful people. They do not seek company.
# 27. Is the difference between a difference of degree and a difference of kind a difference of degree or a difference of kind?
# 28. Bitter it is indeed, in human fate,
When life's supreme temptation comes too late.
# 29. Bells and whistles aren't enough - I need Carillons and Calliopes.
# 30. Today is the first day of the rest of the week. Carpe diem.
# 31. The reason birds can fly is simply that they have faith; and to have faith is to have wings. J.M. Barrie
# 32. . . . -> worm -> toad -> snake -> pig -> man -> worm -> . . . Bierce (DD)
# 33. The human mind is like a musical instrument- beyond a certain range of notes, there is but infinite silence.
# 34. Good enough is the enemy of better. Voltaire
Better is the enemy of good enough. P. H. Halpern
# 35. We would rather be ruined than change.
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die. W.H. Auden
# 36. We often pardon those we find tedious, but seldom those who find us tedious.
# 37. We are but boys playing on the seashore, while the great Ocean of Truth lay undiscovered before us. Newton
# 38. Weak tea is better than no tea.
# 39. Never ascribe to treachery what can be explained by simple incompetence.
# 40. You are not permitted to kill one who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that he is growing older every minute. Bierce (DD)
# 41. He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder and I'll get his wallet.
# 42. Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.
# 43. First Law of Wing-walking: Never let go of what you have until you've got ahold of something else.
# 44. Whatever you do will surely be unimportant. Nevertheless, it is very important that you do it. M.K. Gandhi
# 45. It's OK to be straight, but don't be narrow.
# 46. If you can't find the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over?
# 47. You have achieved nothing so long as there is something to be achieved. C.F. Gauss
# 48. It is a wise person who learns to appreciate that which he will experience whether he appreciates it or not. Garrison Kiellor
# 49. When privacy is outlawed, only outlaws will have privacy. EFF
# 50. If one only wished to be happy, this could easily be accomplished; but we wish to be happier than others and this is difficult, for we believe them to be happer than they are.
# 51. 50 isn't old if you're a tree.
# 52. Been there, done that, can't remember.
# 53. QIQO (quality in, quality out)
GIGO (garbage in, garbage out)
NINO (nothing in, nothing out).
# 54. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
# 55. If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.
# 56. Genius is oft but perseverence in disguise.
# 57. Never let a good idea do service only once. P J Hilton
# 58. No matter how bad things look now, they can always get worse.
# 59. A man's legacy lies not in his words but in his deeds.
# 60. How happy the lot of the mathematician. He is judged solely by his peers, and the standard is so high that no colleague or rival can ever win a reputation he does not deserve. W H Auden
# 61. Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
# 62. I've got one nerve left and you're getting on it.
# 63. If fruitcake could fly, this place would be an airport.
# 64. First Law of Blowdarts: Do not inhale.
# 65. Save the whales - collect the whole set!
# 66. I was abducted by aliens and all I got was a lousy t-shirt.
# 67. Let's face it: we live among people whose chief means of forward propulsion is patting themselves on the back.
# 68. Surprise, though difficult to achieve in war, is the stock-in-trade of fools.
# 69. Common sense isn't all that common.
# 70. A bird in the hand is better than one overhead.
# 71. UCF - where the leaders of tomorrow download the smut of today.
# 72. UCF - where employees and carbon paper are our most important assets (not necessarily in that order).
# 73. Never interrupt an enemy while he is making a mistake. N. Bonaparte
# 74. Some folks' idea of diplomacy is saying "good doggie" until they can find a rock.
# 75. Doing nothing is very tiring because you can't take a break.
# 76. UCF - where the leaders of tomorrow waste the resources of today.
# 77. Time is an excellent teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its pupils. H. Berlioz
# 78. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
# 79. Peo-ple . . . who don't need other peo-ple . . . Are the happiest peo-ple . . .
# 80. I will not yell in class
I will not make rude noises in class
I will not throw things in class
My behavior will be exemplary
For I am the teacher . . . I am the teacher.
# 81. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. G. B. Shaw

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